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We Will Get There

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As you know I’ve been in a funk.

(Hence why I haven’t posted in a while)

Jon and I have been having issues.

One of my insecurities is feeling unloved and unwanted.

His flaw is not showing affection.

I get how it use to be, where men don’t show their feelings.

But why?

That’s dumb.

Men have feelings. Just because they are men they have to hide them?

No.

That is not how humans are suppose to work, just because they are a certain sex.

That does not give my husband an excuse to hide his feelings.

That’s not fair to anyone.

Especially me.

So for awhile there I was pushing him away.

Even when I wasn’t talking about mine.

Jon and I have a tendency of being silent until I get so upset and say mean things.

I never mean them.

He knows this, but it doesn’t mean he still doesn’t hurt from the things I’ve said.

That is the very first thing I need to work on to make us better.

He’s my world.

His insecurity is he’s afraid of loosing me.

As I’m sitting there thinking, “Then try harder!”

I’m still wrong.

I need to show him he won’t lose me especially since I have told him that he might.

I still want him. I still love him.

We just know how to get under each others skin.

Even when I hate him and think things will get no where, I still love him.

My stomach still gets butterflies.

These are things I need to tell him more.

Mind you we are a young couple, we are still evolving.

Sometimes not changing together.

We are getting there.

But I will be damned if I let my marriage fail.

He’s my one.

He’s my ultimate best friend.

You think I’m going to let that go easily?

Fuck that.

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I’m a mess, a loving, caring, working, try to put my makeup on everyday, always smiling or to exhausted to function, mess. But it’s okay I wouldn’t change it for the world. Follow my journey, you and I will figure things out together!

7 Comments Join the Conversation

  1. There will be highs and lows in any marriage. Keep talking to him, letting him know he’s “the one,” letting him know what you need and appreciate about him. Tell him when he does well, but don’t be afraid to let him know when he might mess up; just do it in a non-judgmental way. Keep talking; 35 years of married life has taught me that silence can be poisonous. God bless you both– Mike

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    • See with us it’s either scream or silent. We are working on it. We have come very far. But this hole we hit was very different. Things just got hard. But thank you Mike, means alot for your advice 💜

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  2. What a realistic post! I tell my fiancé about these insecurities ever so often and I feel silly about it since I know we both are on the same page with how we feel and where we’re at. It’s always something but we all reel one another in back to our foundation to grow even stronger as a couple and individuals!

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    • Thank you! Sometimes our insecurities just clash and we take it out on each other when really we just need to know everything will be okay(: thanks for reading 💛

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  3. Gee, this sounds so familiar. My Hubs and I to a “t”.
    We had a big marriage crash almost 2 years ago. We had been together for 20 something years and it all came tumbling down. What I found reeeeeeally helpful, for myself and as a by-product of said self, my marriage-was counselling. I highly recommend it. I am so much better for it as a human. And so is my marriage. The Lael I was, in my 20s would scoff at this suggestion but the woman I am now says it was so helpful and empowering. It was nothing like I imagined it would be and now I’m a total convert, lol
    Much luck and love!

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  4. Truly hope that you two are doing well. When people have family histories like ours, it’s so very easy to revert to unhealthy communication, or the lack thereof, because this behavior is first hand for us. Don’t laugh because I’m serious… there’s a series of books, really dated (80’s) called 10 stupid things women do to mess up their lives and the other is 10 stupid things couples do that mess up their relationships. Easy to read, shes kinda funny. Hope this helps. Miss your humor.

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