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Fairy Tales


Forgive me if I’m wrong, but my expectations of growing up with a father were different then it turned out to be.

They push you on the swings. They take you fishing and teach you how to put a worm on the hook, or even show you how to take the fish off the hook. They teach you how to ride a bike and just be silly together.

They show you how this world is a magical place, filled with optimism and happiness.

As you grow, they want you to realize that any man that comes along needs to have many characteristics to even be worth a second to your time.

Maybe it’s a fairy tale, but that’s what I thought. That’s what I wanted.

Instead, I had to drive with a drunk.

A drunk that would put my life on the line when he was going through his own shit.

Nights upon nights where he would be driving an hour away to get home after he’s been drinking.

Where I would sit there and stare at him even though I’m tired.

Yelling at him.

“Dad, open your eyes.”

“Dad, open your eyes!!”

“Daddddddd, your falling asleep!”

“No I’m not.” He would shout.

He was. His eyelids were folding over.

Till this day I get anxiety about driving, because of him.

I would like to stop being a baby about it, but that’s what he put me through.

The amounts of times we almost crashed. Yet I’m still standing.

Dad, I wish you would’ve taught me how to fish while you had your beers.

Or how you could’ve pushed me on the swings with no excuses.

Spent more time with me than you did your beer.

I was me. I’ve been me. You shrugged me off because your life became to heavy.

You can’t even look at my husband without recognizing he’s a person.

He taught me a lot. More then what you could.

It’s okay though.

As you sit in jail,

I sit here living.

Trying to forgive.

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I’m a mess, a loving, caring, working, try to put my makeup on everyday, always smiling or to exhausted to function, mess. But it’s okay I wouldn’t change it for the world. Follow my journey, you and I will figure things out together!

15 Comments Join the Conversation

  1. For a lot of us the lessons our parents taught us was what not to do. I have not yet found my peace with my parents, I let go of the anger for myself but the sadness still rears its head on occasion.

    Liked by 3 people


  2. Sending love your way. My dad was a total piece of shit too. It’s not something you get over easily 💚

    Liked by 1 person


  3. My father was far from perfect. There were things he did that hurt me deeply – and he never apologized – ever! He died many years ago and I carried the hurt for a long time. But, it only interfered with my life and blocked the joys. I learned I had to let go for my own peace of mind. I am wishing you many blessings, especially the blessing of peace.

    Liked by 2 people


    • Aww I’m sorry that you went through the same situation. My dad thinks he’s perfect and could never do anything wrong. I’m happy you learned to let go! Thank you! God bless 💕

      Liked by 2 people


  4. My father drove drunk too, and I remember sitting on the floor in the back praying we’d arrive safely. (no seat belts in those days – tells you how old I am, lol.) Keep writing – we purge the darkness on the pages. You write very well.

    Liked by 1 person


    • Aww I’m sorry you went through this as well. I remember starring at him and praying all the time. Praying he would get better and drive like this anymore. God bless 💚

      Liked by 1 person


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