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Mind-fucked

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How easy is it to manipulate or be manipulated?

About two months ago my mom and I would check on each other, just to see how we are doing.

One night mom calls me, she’s upset. Just crying telling me she wants to kill herself. I’m like what about your kids that you never see? She proceeds to tell me that she was diagnosed with schizophrenia and that she hears voices all the time. At this point I feel bad, but I do know alcoholism can bring on the mental issues the longer you continue to drink from sun up to sun down. It was just a phone call where once again I’m the little girl bagging her to stop drinking but she won’t listen. I give up and go to bed.

The next day my mom tells me that her current boyfriend threw her through a window and kicked her out of her own apartment. Just to have this other girl move in.

She even told me this women’s name and I looked her up, and yes this was a legit story. He was seeing this girl.

Mom keeps texting me talking shit about him but does nothing.

I’m telling her she needs to call the cops and she won’t.

Her friends eventually made her call the police, but I was getting freaked out because she wasn’t responding to me. I started calling and calling until her friend answered.

She says, “She’s okay and I will have her call you back when she’s done writing a police statement.”

“Okay great!” She never called back, but she messaged saying she was fine and back at her apartment. She told me she is pressing charges, I’m like, awesome! She did the right thing for herself.

Fast forward a week or so.

I notice she’s back with her boyfriend. I ask her about it, just to double check. She says she is.

Right away I’m like: “Why? Do you not remember last week?”

She says: “No, what happened?”

“Mom, he threw you through a window! You called the cops and wrote a statement.

“That never happened,” she says.

At this point I’m freaking out. Am I going crazy!? Is this really happening right now?

I turn to my husband and I’m like: “That happened right?”

He said: “Yes, that definitely happened.”

I look back to my messages from past times, they aren’t there!

When I can’t handle certain conversations I delete them. Out of site, out of mind. I believe that’s what i did.

Then the story changes. She says it’s the meth addict neighbors, that they are psycho and made the story up.

THAT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE EITHER. MY MOM SPECIFICALLY TOLD ME THIS HAPPENED.

Still freaking out I start questioning her about everything she has told me.

Guess what? SHE DOES NOT HAVE SCHIZOPHRENIA.

She then told me that her boyfriend treats her like a queen.

At this point I’m done with the bullshit, so done!

So I messaged her. I said: “You know what, you sit on your throne and I will sit on mine. You will not be hearing from me anymore.”

To this day, I KNOW it happened. I know all the things she said to me.

What scared me the most was she really made me believe it didn’t happen for a second. But I know what I heard. Thank god my husband was there to hear it as well.

That’s how easy it is to mess with a human brain.

I can honestly say I was mind-fucked.

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I’m a mess, a loving, caring, working, try to put my makeup on everyday, always smiling or to exhausted to function, mess. But it’s okay I wouldn’t change it for the world. Follow my journey, you and I will figure things out together!

29 Comments Join the Conversation

  1. okay wow, idk if this is fiction or real life but what the hell? this is one hell of a story.
    i love your narration style. it’s easy to follow yet eloquent. about to binge your whole blog ❤️

    Liked by 3 people

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  2. I got confused for a second, I thought there was another twist on the story. Great writing, I thought I was reading fiction until I read the comments above.

    Liked by 2 people

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  3. I’m so sorry you’re going through that. My mom is very manipulative as well. Its incredibly toxic and mentally draining to have to deal with being hurt by someone who is supposed to love you.

    Hang in there 💜

    Liked by 1 person

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  4. I’ve given up on believing anything my Mum says – it’s so… well, twisted, so I completely get where you’re coming from. It truly makes you wonder if you’ve stepped through the Looking Glass. I love the phrase “You sit on your throne, I’ll sit on mine”!! May I steal it?

    Superb job advocating for your own peace of mind and setting boundaries.

    Liked by 2 people

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    • Aww thanks and of course you can steal it! I’m to the point where my relationship with her will forever be impossible unless maybe she gets sober. But that’s okay with me. Thanks for keeping up with my blogs , makes me happy 😊

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  5. hi im not punctuating much or capitalizing so please do not be offended i just want to get to the message.i am captivated by your story and your reason for sharing. i too do the same, i love that you show your heart and vulnerability also. our backgrounds are sort of similar, except i was the only child my mom birth. anyways to the message because i tend to run on. when it comes to your mom i suggest you practice a tool called detachment, i truly believe no one is beyond redemption, i also feel the lifestyle that she lives… well we all no how they tend to end.i would not want to see you in a place of the what if’s( what if id answered that call, what if i believed her that time) once you master detatchment youll be able to handle a call from her and discern whether or not its BS. your peace of mind is most important , there are ways to have both. honestly youre not at peace if in the back of your mind youre worried or wondering when the next shoe will drop. love&lightunite

    Liked by 2 people

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    • Thank you! I am trying to detach. That’s why I keep writing about her because so far writing has been helping me A LOT. There’s something about maybe when I’m done with my stories of her and the parts that bothered me most makes me feel like then I will finally be onto my next chapter in life and letting go? If that makes sense. Thank you so much for taking the time to read my blog and give me great advice! ☺️

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