This weekend I was at a bonfire. Just having fun with friends. I then found out my dad was in jail.
He’s been in for a month.
I didn’t know my own father was in jail.
His last message to me was one of those random goodbyes.
I’m like, where are you going?
I just don’t understand why people live this way.
When I get into an argument with anyone I get mad, like any normal human being, but then I think, oh no, what if those are my last words, or their last words.
I get fearful of arguing with my husband. I don’t want my last words to him to be something I regret.
The relationships/ friendships I have mean so much to me.
Abuse, suicide, murder, accidents, not waking up, etc.
HAPPENS ON A DAILY BASIS.
I try to love and care for everyone around me.
My dad just doesn’t.
I didn’t even know he was in jail. He didn’t care enough to tell me.
Honestly, if something bad ever happened to my parents, I probably wouldn’t even know about it. My mom was in a mental institution after her attempted suicide for a few weeks before I even found out.
That’s just it though, it shows that they don’t feel worthy of life.
They act like living sucked the life out of them. But in reality they did that to there own selves.
I will always make sure that my loved ones know I love them. I have tried over and over again to fix my relationship with my parents. But because I’m not fucked up enough, they refused.
I can’t have wrongful words be the last thing a loved one hears.
We only live once.
I’m going to live it all…are you?