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Devastation

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After my dad paid my mom off, I moved in with her, and all was great. It was perfect.

She was sober.

She loved me like she used to again. I believed the future was bright for us, finally.

Just after a few months things went south.

She started hiding her beer in big cups, old friends started coming around.

Random men were in and out of the house.

Life changed so fast.

Then my mom met James. Fuck you James.

When they met, James was with this women named Darcy at the time.

She had bruises all over her body and never said it was James that did this to her. But it was a serious red flag.

One night my mom was there and apparently Darcy jumped out of a window, she was fine. But we never seen her come around again.

Again, red flag.

So James moves in pretty quickly. There was constant fighting and weird things he would do. I remember him trying to claim what was his, which was my mom. He took ownership of her. He would mess with her life. Completely messed with her van so she couldn’t leave him and eventually, mom caught on and finally wanted to leave him.

Thank god, right.

No. It was early October 2010 where James decided to climb through a window in the apartment hallway jumping on to our balcony and walking right inside our apartment.

Where he then grabbed a big seashell and decided to aggressively hit my mom over the face with it, as many times as he could.

My mom thought she was going to die.

This time I wasn’t there, I was at a friends house right upstairs. My brothers and sisters come banging on the door. When I walked into our apartment, my mom was sitting at a chair, waiting for the police.

My mom’s face looked like something you can’t even imagine. It wasn’t her. She was covered in blood. Could barely see out of her eyes. Lots of swelling all around her face. It was devastating.

The justice system decided to only give him a month jail time because my mom had no broken bones.

That night she went to the hospital, and I stayed with my siblings.

That night was the night I had to clean up my own mothers blood out of her carpet so my siblings and her wouldn’t see that anymore.

As I sit there scrubbing and bawling my eyes out I’m thinking:

“WHO THE FUCK WOULD WANT TO LIVE THIS WAY.”

My mom, because her way of living never changed.

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I’m a mess, a loving, caring, working, try to put my makeup on everyday, always smiling or to exhausted to function, mess. But it’s okay I wouldn’t change it for the world. Follow my journey, you and I will figure things out together!

17 Comments Join the Conversation

  1. My dear friend,

    You must have gone through the hell – I wish you with all my heart that your life will continue in harmony, happiness, non-violence and with much much love. Its incredible what some people have to experience in their young life. Strenght and courage to you that you may overcome those awful situations.

    All good wishes my friend
    Didi

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

    • I thank you for your message. It really means a lot. I can assure you that my life is amazing with my husband and two kids. I have my issues but hey who doesn’t right? I’m writing my blogs so people can relate. My goal is to inspire. Yeah I went through hell. But now I’m living my best life. I want people to understand how I came to my best life and show people how they can too 😊

      Liked by 6 people

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      • Dear friend

        After heavy storms of your life you found your sunshine 🙂 and what I also like is that with your story you can give hope and confidence to people who have suffered in a similar way – that also for them this period of buring fire in oneself comes to an end with a rising sun. Great, dear friend!
        Best wishes for you and your family
        Didi

        Liked by 2 people

  2. Your writing is haunting. It is not a rant, it is a hook and pulls people in. Please keep telling your story. From your remarks above, it seems as if you are writing with the hopes of helping other people, with the way you are so bold and transparent, other people who are in breathless situations will not only relate, but hopefully get help.

    Liked by 1 person

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  3. Hi Ruby,
    This was my mom’s name. Wow.
    And your words touch the silent screams of so many in abusive situations. Sometimes it’s like the people when they were freed from slavery in Egypt by Moses they kept wanting to go back because security/fear/risk kept them from stepping into freedom. I thank God for your walk at the edge so that you might let others know to turn to another direction. God bless you and your family.

    Liked by 1 person

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  4. Ruby, I stopped by because I promised you I would and thank you for following Shift Key. OMG I’m so sad (read my About page – I, too, know abuse). I hope you know that no one deserves abuse in any way, shape, or form. And sadly, I’ve learned that we cannot be in relationship any higher than our level of dysfunction (or our level of health). If we don’t get help to heal and become whole, we choose and repeat abusive relationships over and over again. I pray that you and your family heal and grow out of abusive relationships and I wish you joy, peace, love, and health along the way.

    Liked by 1 person

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    • Thank you so much for taking the time to read my blogs. I myself can say I’m healthy and in a very healthy relationship. Every day we are growing as a family and as individuals. Thanks again, it was a beautiful comment

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  5. Some people are so used to pain, disappointment, and depression that they don’t know what normal is. Unfortunately to some…dysfunction is normal.

    I admire your ability to speak about your parents. I have so much to say about mine and although I have been hurt so much by them, I feel like I would be doing something wrong if I did. I will get over that one day though because life is about your own healing process and if it takes telling “the truth” no matter who it involves…then that’s what need to be done. Kudos to you for speaking your truth and I pray that your goal of helping others is fulfilled everyday!

    Like

    Reply

    • Your right dysfunction was my normal. If this blog was going a couple years ago I would’ve felt bad to talk about them. Time really did help for me. It will be in your favor one day. It’s crazy because now I randomly remember things that happened that I blocked for the longest time. Things finally started feeling better just this year. The way I look at life now is so different. I’m so happy. Writing on my blog makes me feel relieved. Thank you for taking the time to read. Stay strong 💕

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      • That’s what I think abused people do…try so hard to push negative memories to the back of our mind. Sometimes it’s in our best interest if we want to find any kind of happiness.

        Like

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