As you know I’ve been in a funk.
(Hence why I haven’t posted in a while)
Jon and I have been having issues.
One of my insecurities is feeling unloved and unwanted.
His flaw is not showing affection.
I get how it use to be, where men don’t show their feelings.
Men have feelings. Just because they are men they have to hide them?
That is not how humans are suppose to work, just because they are a certain sex.
That does not give my husband an excuse to hide his feelings.
That’s not fair to anyone.
So for awhile there I was pushing him away.
Even when I wasn’t talking about mine.
Jon and I have a tendency of being silent until I get so upset and say mean things.
I never mean them.
He knows this, but it doesn’t mean he still doesn’t hurt from the things I’ve said.
That is the very first thing I need to work on to make us better.
He’s my world.
His insecurity is he’s afraid of loosing me.
As I’m sitting there thinking, “Then try harder!”
I’m still wrong.
I need to show him he won’t lose me especially since I have told him that he might.
I still want him. I still love him.
We just know how to get under each others skin.
Even when I hate him and think things will get no where, I still love him.
My stomach still gets butterflies.
These are things I need to tell him more.
Mind you we are a young couple, we are still evolving.
Sometimes not changing together.
We are getting there.
But I will be damned if I let my marriage fail.
He’s my one.
He’s my ultimate best friend.
You think I’m going to let that go easily?